A recent study done by a number of prominent and trained scientists has indicated that SteamPotVille, the most recent children’s tale by Seattle area artist and illustrator Steve Ouch is, in fact, the perfect bedtime tale to read to children who are (at the time of reading) in bed. These scientists, all of whom own lab coats and have fancy degrees from universities you have heard of, recently released their findings that SteamPotVille is perfectly calibrated to provide the perfect bedtime tale experience.

It seems a correlation between page size, colors per page, fascinating themes and a number of other factors have combined to make a children’s bedtime tale reading experience factor of 137.4, the scientists, all of whom wear glasses with scotch tape holding them together at the bridge, announced. The next best reading experience factor (REM) was 112.6, found in the German tale “Der Neu Bundesverwaltungsamt”, which translates roughly into English as “The Pretty Puppy”. Although the scientists would not reveal their methods in testing the various children’s books, they assured reporters that their methods were “really really scientific” and that they used “beakers and microscopes and stuff” at a rate of “pretty much every day”.

“In all of my years of doing science I’ve never been struck by a more striking finding, scientifically speaking.” Said chair of the research committee James Thickelmore (PhD, MFA, GBE, R.af E, PDA), “We have proven hear, beyond any reasonable doubt, that in a competitive environment, SteamPotVille appears to be the best possible choice of children’s bedtime tale.”

No study on this large of a scale has ever before been attempted in the area of children’s bedtime tales. While smaller scale studies have been completed, primarily shrouded in secrecy and conducted behind the iron curtain, no study has yet been done as scientifically as this most recent attempt.

While further studies are plotted into determining exactly what criteria one can judge what the “best” children’s tale is, all scientists contacted answered that they were busy “doing science”, and then promptly returned to feeding small pills to mice or typing things authoritatively into computers, completely ignoring any further questions.

“I am very impressed by how scientific this study was, and by how thoroughly all of my doubts about whether or not you can quantify the best children’s tale in a scientific way” said local man on the street, Bud Nelson “All of the information I’ve been seeing, including about how much funding they had and how many of the researchers are bald, grizzled ancient men, leads me to believe the utmost scientific care was taken. I’m off to buy SteamPotVille right now! Of all tales to tell children, SteamPotVille seems to be the most scientifically sound.”

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Since time immemorial, Children have cringed at even the slightest mention of a “Bedtime”. Widespread discontent has always arisen from children regarding the concept of bedtime, with regular cheers of “Can’t I just stay up for 10 more minutes?”, “I’m not tired” or even the well-known “You and mom get to stay up late!” issuing from the mouths of children across the world, prompting all manner of cajoling and threats from Parents. But, this debate, as ancient as time, appears to have finally come to an end. Children across the country are rethinking their stance on bedtime thanks to one new development, the release of Children’s Bedtime Tale , SteamPotVille.

SteamPotVille, written and illustrated by Seattle area artist Steve Ouch, is quickly making children across the country look forward joyously to bedtime. Parents everywhere have learned that by simply promising to read SteamPotVille with their children for a few minutes before bed, even the most adamant of bedtime-opposed Children is suddenly gleefully in pajamas, teeth brushed and face washed, without the slightest hint of bitterness or argument.

“I can’t believe how much simpler SteamPotVille has made putting Timmy to bed!” says Cleveland-area mother, Donna Huebner “It used to be a painful struggle every night, but now he’s even started reminding me when it’s time for him to go to bed! Thanks, SteamPotVille!”

The praise doesn’t come all from parents, but. Children seem completely content to be abandoning their once hard-line position on Bedtime.

“I remember when my Mom used to tell me it was time to go to bed, all I knew was ‘I don’t wanna!’” says Cleveland-area child, Timmy Huebner, already in pajamas, even though it’s just six in the evening “Now that I know we’re going to be reading SteamPotVille, bedtime is my favorite part of the day!”

But, this marked drop in children’s bedtime tantrums does not seem to signal a widespread change toward children “behaving” better in general. Vegetable eating still appears to be a major issue for the children’s community, who also continue to cast scorn on any possibility of bedroom cleaning. The singular decline in bedtime resistance may not be a marker of better behavior from children in general, but instead just shows the power and allure of SteamPotVille.

“When I first started writing SteamPotVille, all I really wanted to do was write something so parents would tales to tell children ” Says author and illustrator Steve Ouch “All I wanted to do was make something fun and creative for kids and parents to delight in. But if my book has the power to change the whole way children reckon about bedtime…well, all the better!”

Will this bedtime truce between parents and children last? Only time will tell, but as long as parents keep bringing home copies of SteamPotVille for their kids, you can bet on pleased bedtimes for a while still to come.

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